Hey, it's Future Dog.
This all started a while ago, I was just minding my own business celebrating my victory over some competition in the drink-a-thon. I was able to drink two gallons of the spiciest apple cider, twelve cups of molten hot chocolate, a barrel full of salt water and a cup of snake venom in a record time of 32 minutes. With my outstanding world record setting victory on my shoulders I made my way back to my home to relax my bowels and liver for they had a lot of digesting to do. Upon entering single person flat I made my way through a thick layer of aluminum cans, I should really start recycling, and I saw a blinking on my answering machine. After wading through some more cans I make it to my answering machine and play the message. It's Larry and he needs me to meet him at his lab.
Larry is my room mate, but he is always away at his lab working on some sort of weird project. He's had a few successes in his belt tightener, wire untangler, and orange juice that you can use after brushing your teeth without that awful acidic taste. He has some bright ideas, but nothing too world changing. This message he left for me sounded urgent and I was intrigued so I made my way over to his lab.
I arrived in his poorly lit lab a little past eleven o'clock to find him tinkering on some sort of refrigerator. "A super instant cooling refrigerator?" I asked, recalling how he always complained of his ale not cooling fast enough for his thirst quenching needs. He looked up with a smile, "I heard about your triumph at that contest. Congratulations! Now I need you to come save the past." This all seemed a bit too forward, but you can't sugar coat something as serious as time travel.
My tounge dripped out of my tounge in awe, unsure if he actually said what he said. "The past? What in the world are you talking about?" I incredulous barked out. As it turns out there had been some sort of weird new cocktail introduced to the public of Drinkinville and people were warping through time causing a ruckus. Larry brought to me a newspaper. At first, it seemed like a regular newspaper but upon closer inspection some of the words were jumbled and letters were missing. "Are you sure you didn't just get a deluxe edition word jumble or cryptogram?" I inquired, but was met with another grin from Larry.
"This is the newspaper. All of the words are messed up because of these time travelers. I fear someone has gone back to Ghutenberg's time and is distracting him from getting his printing press complete." Larry's words were hard to swallow at first. Like a pill that just wont go down, stuck in your esophogaus hindering your breathing until you are forced to drink a gallon of apple juice and take three spoons of sugar. "I've reversed engineered the time cocktails so that you can go back in time with precision. They're in that refrigerator over there whenever you're ready."